“Honor thy father and thy mother …” – so says one of the commandments of the Bible.
Each parent will agree with it, complaining that it was precisely this respect and not enough. As Jacob Bogatin suggests – all for children – time, effort, money, no established career, unrealized dreams.
Dissatisfaction with life mentally compensate those that care about chadah above all else. Such a sacrifice sometimes goes to extremes, pushing into the background the most important thing in life – the ability to make decisions and perform actions.
Well, I want to draw a straw. We are trying to take on the all the demands and needs of the child, for him to decide everything from food and ending with whom he had to communicate.
And according to Jacob Bogatin it will grow infantile, not adapted to the social life of the individual. How often do we give the child to solve a particular problem (peer relationships, troubles at school, frequent conflicts with teachers and others)? A beloved scion wondered whether our problems, mental state, well, finally, asked if ever the question of why are you so sad or what excites you? Hardly any parents answer yes to these questions. Yes, sometimes we try not to burden themselves with unnecessary child experiences.
I remember one case of teaching practice. I see a girl 6 years old, who stood at the window, all the invitations to children to play, refuses. I’m trying to distract, to show what a beauty on the street, how much fun the children play. I asked why she was so sad at that says: “I’m a mother. She yesterday the whole evening looking out the window, waiting for my father and I was very sad. ” The child, observing the behavior of the mother, automatically plays it in the game. And it was the game is a model for future relations between our children in society. Some are aggressive, while others are more susceptible vice versa. There are those who try to remain neutral or to act as judges. According to observations conducted by Jacob Bogatin, children rarely refer to each other with the question: “Are you hurt?” Or “Why sad?”. Most often, conversations are reduced to a listing of what someone is home of the toys and other goods, and where he went to rest with the parents. Most mothers and fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers dream to find mental health, peace and harmony in relationships with children and grandchildren, to see the manifestation of care and attention, not to mention obedience.
So maybe better to start with, draw their attention to their emotional and physical needs that we can be happy and perplexed, we also sometimes painful and difficult, uncomfortable and hot, we can be tired and depressed when nothing want to do? More often tell children about their emotions, experiences, do not try to protect them from the opportunity to learn to sympathize and empathize. Maybe then we will ask less – well, why our children are so callous and unfeeling.